Anonymous asked: Hi, I'm in need of some advice not sure if you can really give it to me but here goes. So my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now (year) and he's going to start his college classes in August, I know that we do have a strong bond, but I'm scared hell see how great college is and not want to be with me, I want him to grow and I know he has a bright future going for him, but I'm just scared he's not going to want to be together. Any tips? I haven't talked to him yet just want input
I actually know how you feel. I was in a relationship with a guy who was going to a different college than I was. We only had three more months of summer before we were going to be two hours apart during the school year. I asked him if he was able to handle a “long” distance relationship after we went off to college. He said he could, but sure enough, a month into college we broke up because he couldn’t.
Don’t let my experience discourage you though. My cousin is already a semester and a half into college and is still going strong with his girlfriend in high school who lives an hour and a half away.
I recommend sitting down with him and discussing your future (but not the distant future). Tell him how you are feeling about him going off to college. Tell him what you told me. Then see how he responds. Most likely he will reassure you of his feelings for you. Next comes the most important part which I didn’t do: come up with a game plan.
Ask him how you should see each other, when, where, how often. Will you drive up on the weekends? Will he drive down for the weekends? Will you trade off who comes where? Will you skype or primarily talk on the phone? Will you try to text everyday? Will you see him every weekend or every other weekend? Once a month? Only on breaks?
My cousin visits his girlfriend every weekend because he is crazy about her and isn’t too busy with classes. My ex and I decided to see each other for the first time in person about a month after school began, and as we got closer to when we were going to see each other, he got really distant with me. (To be honest, I’m glad we broke up because I’d rather have a guy who would do anything to be with me than a guy too lazy to make an effort)
When he does go off to college, you have to try to not be the crazy clingy girlfriend who needs to know where he is at all times of day. You are allowed to ask him what his plans are for the day or what he did that day, and I definitely recommend texting him everyday, but don’t constantly check up on him. If you are uncomfortable with him going to a wild party, let him know, and you can even suggest that you two go together to a party next time you come visit if it’s that important to him (although you should definitely be more important to him than drinking and partying). If he goes to a wild party without telling you, then you do have a right to express concern to him that you feel he doesn’t trust you or that he is giving you a reason not to trust him.
Always encourage him when he’s there, tell him that you miss him, and try to stay away from complaining about anything (like not seeing him, etc.) because you want to make this experience enjoyable for him, not stressful.
If you two love each other, you can ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS find a way to make it work.