Hello, Dating Advice

Love advice from the girl all her friends come to when cupid shoots them in the ass.

Anonymous asked: I am sincerely in love with someone. I got rejected when I tried. She's been my best friend for a year now. She even thought I got over her. I feel I should move on, by the heart wants what it wants. How do I get her to say yes?

Hello!

I’ve seen two different scenarios occur.

1) Bob was head over heels in love with Sally. Sally led on Bob a lot because she enjoyed the attention, but every time Bob asked her out, she would say no. Bob was always heartbroken and crushed and dramatic every time she said no. Sally wasn’t even the nicest person. She was actually pretty rude. Bob liked her because he thought she liked him.

2) Tim was in love with Sarah. They would always hang out, but when Tim expressed his feelings for her, she told him politely that she thought of him as a friend. They continued to hang out as friends until one day Tim tried once more. Sarah had developed feelings for him, and they’ve been dating for over a year.

So which scenario is closest to your situation? Take off the rose-colored glasses, and try to see her as objectively as possible. If you didn’t have feelings for her, would you consider her an appropriate person to set your affections on? Is she leading you on? Does she enjoy attention from guys?

Or is she really sweet? Do people believe that she is a kind, genuine person? Do you hang out like friends? Does she not lead you on, and you still have feelings for her? 

Make sure you are completely positive that this is the girl for you before you pursue a relationship.

If you believe that you truly love her for who she is, then go for it! But by go for it, I mean ease into it. Flirt with her subtly and treat her well (but not in a servant-manner). Don’t be whipped. Respect her. Give her space, but hang out with her often. Don’t force anything. 

Once you get any signal from her (ex: leaving her hand out for you to hold, playfully touching your arm, flirting back, etc.) then let her know how you feel.

If she never sends you these signals, then you need to wait for that girl who wants to send you those signals. Don’t try to force someone to like you. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. You won’t be happy if you continue to like her when she does not like you, but you have the potential for happiness by looking elsewhere!

I hope that everything works out for you, but no matter what, always choose to be happy!

Good luck!

Anonymous asked: I'm absolutely head over heels for my best friend, who's already with another girl. He is perfect in every way and no matter how many times I try to end my feelings for him, it fails (I've tried so many times and it NEVER works). I'm dying on the inside; it's been like this for so long. I love him, and sometimes it feels like he loves me back, because he does things for me or we go out and he compliments me all the time and hugs me and yeah all that cute crap. WHAT DO I DO? PLEASE HELP!!!

Hello!

I was in your exact situation. I had feelings for a guy, we’ll say his name was Tom, who was taken, and I tried to get him out of my head. One day, after flirting back and forth with a different guy who I found out had a girlfriend after, I was pissed. I couldn’t believe that he would even try flirting with me when he was taken, and it made me sick that I had flirted back. So from there, I vowed to just completely drop my feelings for Tom. Within an hour, I found out that Tom broke up with his girlfriend. Six months later we dated.

I highly recommend not making any moves while he is dating someone. If he wants you, then he will make it happen.

However, if there is absolutely no way you can quit liking him, then you should let him know that you have developed feelings for him and that you probably need some time away from him to get over him or that he needs to stop complimenting you, etc. If he says he likes you too, then great. Just don’t date immediately after he breaks up with his current girlfriend. If he says that it’s ok for you to get over him, then you need to try. He will back off with the mixed signals, and you should talk to other guys. If he sees you talking to other guys then maybe he will realize that he does in fact like you, but in the meantime, get to know other guys. Maybe you’ll meet someone. 

Once you have gotten over him, then resume your friendship. I hope everything turns out for the best!

Good luck!

Anonymous asked: Is it possible for a girl to like a "big" guy(me)? I've been crushing over this girl for almost 2 years now but never really tried because she had a boyfriend. They've now been broken up for about 2 months now and I feel like I've been just acting like she's just another friend. I feel like I'm just another guy friend she has. Is it possible for a "big" guy like me to even have a chance with her? P.S. I've only texted her because Im afraid she'll think im ugly. Im 18 and she's 17. Please help :/

Hello!

Ask yourself this question: would you ever want to date a shallow person? Someone who judges people before getting to know them?

Hopefully you would not want to date that person.

Then why worry that a girl might not like your appearance and therefore not consider dating you? Cause you wouldn’t want to date that person anyway, so you pretty much dodged a bullet if she’s like that.

I understand your concern, but here are a few scenarios for you to think about:

1) I was 16 or 17 years old when I first saw this dreamboat of a guy who was friends with my older sister. He didn’t notice me, but I sure remembered him. When I was 19 and he was 23, we met again, and he actually took notice of me, a freshman. I went out on one date with him and realized that I lost my attraction for him since we lacked chemistry. So just because other guys may be considered more attractive does not mean that girls will want to be with them.

2) One of my friends dated 4 handsome and charming guys before she met her current boyfriend. Her boyfriend is not considered the most handsome guy, but his personality is what drew her to him. She actually pursued him rather than he pursuing her.

3) This guy told me a story about one of his friends who wasn’t the most attractive. We’ll call him Bob. And Bob had an absolutely gorgeous wife. The guy asked Bob how in the world he got a girl like that, and Bob said that he had asked her out on a date, and she agreed to go. Before their date, Bob prayed to God for everything to go right. Bob flipped open the Bible, and the first passage he saw was about how men can basically woo a woman: through kindness. Throughout their date, he was very chivalrous, opening doors for her, pulling out her chair, etc. After they were married, they were reading in bed, and he turned to her and asked her why in the world she married a guy like him. And she responded, “Because beginning from our first date, you were just so kind.”

If you are confident in yourself and always display that confidence (without being cocky), then people will be drawn to you and your personality. Be who you are, and you will find a girl who likes you for you. 

And you probably aren’t giving yourself enough credit ;)

Good luck!

Anonymous asked: What are some ways to be close and lovey dovey with my boyfriend?

Hello!

Here are a few ways to help you:

1) Text him randomly saying how happy you are that he’s your boyfriend, that you were thinking about how sweet/cute he is, etc.

2) Set up a romantic, cliche date, like cuddling while stargazing, a walk on the beach, a picnic in the park…

3) Write him a surprise love note 

4) Ask him to tell you something you don’t know about him

5) Dance in the kitchen (this will have to seem unplanned though)

6) Give him a pet name. My boyfriend and I would joke around early in our relationship by calling each other ridiculous pet names, like “pookie bear” and “love muffin.” Then one actually stuck: Cuddle bunny

7) Take lots of silly selfies together

8) Catch him off guard by kissing him randomly (not in public though)

9) Go on a road trip. You could even just drive without a map and see where you end up!

10) Hold hands as much as possible!

11) Surprise him with baked goods for no special reason

12) Go do something you have never done before and preferably somewhere you’ll never see anyone you know so you won’t feel judged for being lovey dovey. You’ll never see those people again anyway!

Hopefully these will inspire him to initiate some lovey dovey-ness with you!

Good luck!

Anonymous asked: Hi there. :) Rcntly, I met up with a guy whom I've been texting for a month plus like crazy each day in another city and u can imagine the emotions that were running thru us when we met for the first time. It was only natural that we became really comfortable very fast since we've not stop talking till the day we met. I was only there for 3 nights and the 1st nite was wonderful cause we were acting like any normal couples on dates. Hwever, intimacy was not possible since I was on my monthly but

(ctinued) the point was, 2nd nite he became a bit distant as if he wasnt there with me. And it made it worse that our date was on V’s day in a crowded mall. It bugged me the whole day on why he was like that and when we got back to the hotel, instead of sleeping, I fed myself with ideas that ended up mking me cry which didn’t went well with him. I was afraid of what will happen once I leave, will we continue texting or even dating? He said he couldnt promise me anything atm since he himself was busy with his specialist exams. It was painful for both of us that time since we both invested so much in time and money for it to end up like this. And he left the hotel room saying that it would be even more awkwrd if he stayed after such a tensed stion. He asked that we give it a few days, maybe consider bng friends first for now and I left without seeing him. When I got back, its been quiet from his side and I’m cfused. I really want this to work again but do you think its possible?

Hello!

Based on what you’ve told me, I get the feeling that he was hoping you two would get intimate. It was almost like he wanted to meet up with you (in a hotel, nonetheless) so you could hook up. The mood completely changed when he found out you were on your period, right? Then when things started to get real, and he saw an emotional side of you. He was turned off because it may have been too much too soon, or he had the idea that you were an absolutely perfect human being who never got upset and would be the lowest maintenance girl on the planet that he wouldn’t have to emotionally deal with. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn’t be treating you like this or making up excuses. To be honest, he is lying that “he’s too busy” because your relationship would consist of exactly the same thing that you had been doing for a month+. He had time to text you all month, he had the time to meet you at a hotel for 3 nights, he has the time to text you after. 

And he didn’t even stay with you after the tension? What a complete ass. I’m sorry, but if he can’t handle you at your worst (and crying and sharing feelings isn’t even bad at all) then he doesn’t deserve you at your best. 

If a guy wants you, he will make it happen. If he doesn’t want to put in the effort to be in a relationship with you, then you shouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a lazy, pathetic man with those careless characteristics. 

All in all, I’m pretty sure he was just trying to hook up with you. When he found out he wasn’t going to get any those three nights, he ditched. That doesn’t mean that ANYTHING was wrong with you. In fact, it means that he has quite a few things wrong with him.

So don’t sweat it! You should be glad that you dodged a bullet.

Anonymous asked: So, I kind of just had my first kiss and im kind of panicking. It didnt feel exctatic or anything? Like, just weird and it only lasted like a second? I just felt calm and slightly nervous, Like I didnt feel especially happy? I do really like the girl I had it with, I get nervous sometimes when I see them and I get jealous when they talk to people I dont know, and I really like hugging them and holding hands. I dont know if I fucked up or not by kissing them, I kind of regret it? Is this normal?

Hello!

It’s totally normal for first kisses to be awkward. People assume that they are fireworks and butterflies and magic and whatnot. But really, you’re just putting your mouth onto another person’s mouth. 

Good news though: after getting used to kissing, it becomes more enjoyable. 

Don’t regret kissing someone you like! You may be feeling this way because you are assuming that you didn’t do it right.

You probably did just fine if it lasted a second. There wouldn’t be enough time to mess it up. 

But if you’re really nervous to do it again and get the feeling you’ll embarrass yourself, just watch how people kiss in movies and try to imitate that. And please limit the use of tongue. 

So don’t focus only on kissing, focus on the girl! Then kissing will come naturally.

Good luck!

Anonymous asked: I recently have gotten together (finally) with a good friend of mine. We're very much in love, we've always been really, and I love the way he makes me feel. He had been dating this girl before me but had been in the process of breaking it off with her. He's dating me now, and I have no doubts of his love for me /but/ I have never been in a long term relationship, while he has. What can I do to keep these feelings going of "I'd drive an hour just to see your face," type thing?

Hello!

Here are some tips that may help keep this honeymoon stage going:

1) Keep learning about each other. Ask him to tell you something you don’t know about him.

2) Go out on dates you haven’t done before! Go on exotic dates, like sky diving! Or try a new restaurant. Keep things fresh!

3) Remind yourself of how much you love him and those moments that gave you butterflies!

4) Spend some time apart (but don’t force it) so you’ll have a chance to miss each other.

Basically, if you believe that you’re still in the honeymoon stage, you will remain in the honeymoon stage! Just be sure to keep courting each other as if you haven’t won the other over yet!

Good luck!

Anonymous asked: Okay I need advice. For the past couple of weeks my guy friend and I have been really close. We confessed just recently how much we like each other and decided to let our relationship grow before actually being together. Today he has been very distant from me. He was very hesitant when texting me. Just yesterday he was going on and on about us hanging out and that he just wanted to see my face and kiss me. I've only heard from him once today. This is very abnormal for him, he usually texts back.

Hello!

Usually when guys act like that it’s not a good sign. Unless they are just busy that day or don’t have their phones with them, they may just not want to talk to you at the moment. There are many reasons why that may be: he’s nervous, he is rethinking your relationship, he doesn’t want to mess things up with you…

But here’s what I recommend you do. 

Call him.

If he’s distant while talking to you on the phone, then ask him what’s going on in a calm way. 

Don’t start assuming things right away, just give him a call before you begin to worry!

In the end, a guy who wants to be with you will make the effort to be with you. If he texted you first all the time, then maybe he’s trying to see if you care about him enough to text him first. If you text him, and he doesn’t reply, maybe he doesn’t want to seem clingy.

There are many potential scenarios so the best way to figure out what’s going on is to talk to him!

Good luck!